Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Absence makes the heart... ...freaking ache!

Yeah, you guessed it. Lori's gone. She went to the Manager's and Director's Retreat this morning at 8am. i'll be headed down there for the staff retreat tomorrow, but for today, i'm going to sulk and pout. i was telling her this morning, that it's amazing to me that after only 9 weeks, i have 'come so accustomed to having her around that it is seriously distressing to experience her absence. (insert remarks about being mushy or how this newly wed thing is cheesy) Most of you who know me, know that i've been cheesy for a long time... this is not new. But i think some of this misery is due, at least in part, to knowing that this weekend will be more of the same. Friday, i am going to Nac to hang with Jon and Lori is going to South Texas to hang with some of her friends. We're both going to have a lot of fun, and it'll be great and all, but this is the first time since we've been married that we're not coming home to each other... and let me tell you, it's a bummer!
So, i want to take this opportunity to talk about one of my pet peeves, as well as one of my greatest vices. Entitlement. Here it goes.
i believe that entitlement is one of this world's most destructive mindsets. The idea that we deserve or are owed something in this world causes people to be mean rude and hateful. As far as i can tell, entitlement is the antithesis of grace. Those of us who know our broken state, know also that grace is our greatest source of hope. Entitlement kills hope. Entitlement says that i am right, you are wrong, give me what is mine or i will take it from you at any cost. It's just funny to me that, after knowing that all i have earned in this life is pain and death, i would try to convince myself and anyone else that i am owed this or that... ridiculous. Here are a few ways that i have seen entitlement pop up in my life lately:
1. i am entitled to drive however i want, and anyone who gets in my way is a no good dirty so-and-so and has now earned my undying wrath. (watch out grandma! the fast lane is for the righteous!)
2. i am entitled to spend my money the way i want. Don't tell me i can't buy a truck or a firearm or whatever hyper-masculine symbol has whimsically tickled my fancy lately. i am a man so i deserve to have manly things.
3. i am entitled to be wherever my wife is. (this one hits a little close to home) i put that ring on her finger, so now you have no right to tell me that she has to go somewhere that i am not invited. (this is getting ugly)
4. i am entitled to obey the parts of the bible that my acute intelligence designate as applicable to my way of life. When Jesus said to follow His commandments to prove my love, He just meant that i had to do the ones that make sense to me and cause me the least discomfort. Loving the least, the last and the lost, and proclaiming His gospel to them just means that i need to think good thoughts about people and not ruffle too many feathers, so maybe someday they'll think Jesus is attractive enough to believe in.

... yeah ...

Entitlement is bad. i don't want entitlement anymore. i want submission. "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." We will stop looking for the easy ways to feign obedience and start seeking to follow His commands. And not just sacrifice or ritual burnt offerings, but the compassion, justice, mercy and humility that were modeled by our Lord in His every Word, Deed, Breath and Step. He owes us death, and He gave us life. How's that for entitled?

1 comment:

  1. thanks ed. i am challenged by your honest heart here. bless the Lord for this truth in your heart.